I should email Harvard archaeologist Jason Ur, the Official* Archaeologist of The Mystery of the Haunted Vampire, about this amazing discovery reported in America’s finest news source since the closing of the Weekly World News:

AL JIZAH, EGYPT—A team of British and Egyptian archaeologists made a stunning discovery Monday, unearthing several intact specimens of “skeleton people”—skinless, organless humans who populated the Nile delta region an estimated 6,000 years ago.

“This is an incredible find,” said Dr. Christian Hutchins, Oxford University archaeologist and head of the dig team. “Imagine: At one time, this entire area was filled with spooky, bony, walking skeletons.”

snip

“The evidence of an evolutionary link between humans and skeletons is sparse at best,” said Dr. Terrance Schneider of the University of Chicago. “Furthermore, it is downright unscientific to theorize that skeleton life originated in Egypt merely because mummies, another species of monster, are indigenous to the area. Spooky creatures are found all over the world, from the vampires of Transylvania to the headless horsemen of Sleepy Hollow.”

* Official does not mean to imply his endorsement of this site or anything of monetary value or anything else.

I wonder if they found any artifacts, like skeleton keys. Of course, if the economy has hurt archaelogy as much as other fields, they were probably working with a skeleton crew.

Had you boned up on your skeletal humor before writing those? They really tickled my funny bone. I’m just ribbing you.

Cool!