My best friend and his wife came over for New Year’s Eve. We’re playing Monopoly. I’ve forgotten how many beers and shots of Crown Royal Special Reserve I’ve had – I can’t believe I’m typing this well – and is that a nonsequitor, where was I? – wer’e playing Monopoly. Oh my God I haven’t been this drink in a long time. My lips are numb. I’ve rolled five six times and ain’t had a single chance to buy a single property. Either landing on community chest or chance or someone else’s propertyl I’m buzzed and doomed. This h as been a great night. My best friend’s wife and my 7 year old are one team. My wife is to my left. My best friend is across the table. I’m the race car as I’ve almost always been since I was a kid. My best friend just collected $50 from every player for the 2nd time already. I think someone put the last community chest card on top again instead of on bottom. Unfair!!!. Three exclamation points. I’m so drunk. My kids are having fun. This is a wonderful night.
UPdate: I just bought Boardwalk. Shit property but I finally had a chance to buy something.
Update 2: My 5 year old owns more prpties than I do. I just added personal tag. My dog is at my feet. Life doesn’t get better than this.
“Dad you look like this,” my 7 year old just said.
Update again: My 10 year old sold me vermont out of sympathy. I’m glad she’s choosing my retirement home.
My first father in law who was a raging alcoholic at one time in his life said he always hated new year’s eve because the amateur drunks came out. I’m glad I’m at home.
2nd time I’ve landed on income tax. I just own two properties. I’m putting the computer down before it falls off my lap. more later.
Update: Just traded Boardwalk to my best friend for Vermont, St. James, Penn, RR, $550 cash plus landing on Park Place and Boardwalk for free for two turns. Others are mad at me for the trade, but I was not only short on cash since I paid $150 school tax and was in jail twice on top of the two incoomme taxes previously. My wife just spilled her drink which gives me time to update. No one lands on PP and BW anyway….oops my 10 year old just did.
“OK, your daugther is payihg for your sin,” my wife just said.
Others are griping for my deaql.
This is our best New Year’s in years.
Rita (my best friend’s wife) to my 7 year old whispering in her ear: “No we can’t hire a hitman.”
Update another: shit where’d he get all that money for houses?!?
Update again. I just traded Oriental and Vermont to my wife for $10 and (whisper whisper) to be paid later. I’m screwed in the game, but, well…
Update yet again: the Nerf guns have come out as people landing on Park Place upset with exorberant. rents.
Update another: all kinds of trading going on. I have lots of cash but now no properties. However my 10 year old is happy.
Just sold St. James to my 10 year old for $200. Made her happy…
I shouldn’t drink and play monopoly.
Update: ack she just landed on PP with 3 houses.
Update: Now his wife just shot him
He’s declared the winner.
Now we’ve switched to wii…he’s getting schooled at bowling by my 7 year old.
UPdate last: added links I meant to add earlier. Going to bed. Happy New Year.
Posted in Horror
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