In heaven

<  In heaven

I went to a friend’s house for a cookout tonight. He and his new wife have a swimming pool and the girls swam and I jumped in with them to splash around while Ms. Carnacki sat and talked to the adults.

I drank Guinness and we ate filet mignon steaks grilled to perfection and baked potatoes and a lovely salad made by Ms. Carnacki and my girls and a fruit salad filled with berries. Then I tossed around a football with my friend’s adult son and one of his friends and they told me that I still throw a pretty tight spiral.

My friend’s children are adults now though he is just two months older (he began having children at a much younger age) and he loves watching my kids play and absolutely spoils them. As it grew dark, he sat back in his chair and opened a pack of sparklers. “I want kids. I need kids to run around with sparklers,” he said. As the sparks shot from the brightly lit sparkler, my 6-year-old said, “Are you kidding me? I don’t want to die!” But after I took one and others did too she reached her hand out for one and my three girls waved them in the darkness. After they’d go out, my girls would go up to him and he’d light them another one. He must have continuously lit sparklers for an hour. My friend’s wife lit a fire and I sat back in a reclining, old-fashioned camp seat and my friend brought over a tumbler of Crown Royal Special Reserve on the rocks to me and my middle daughter toasted a marsh mellow for me — burnt black just how I like it. As I ate the marsh mellow with my whisky in my other hand and good friends and loving family laughing and playing around me I said: “I died this morning. I don’t know how. But I know right now I am in heaven.” And I meant it.

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2 Responses to “In heaven”

K. McKee

How did you get to heaven? Can you provide a map? What’s it like up there? Can you spy on people? Can you f*** with people? I want to go! Do I have to be a vampire first?


Don’t know. No. Like I described. No, spying is wrong. Probably in a good way, not in a bad. I’m sure you do. No.

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