Oh no! Despite the best efforts of Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert to coverup that Republican Congressman Mark Foley was a sexual predator of teenage boys, his creepy emails and sexually explicit Instant Messages were released to ABC News.
Now I’ve learned from my sources at the National Security Agency that graphic, explicit Instant Messages of many other bloggers are about to be released in order to show Foley isn’t so unusual afterall in comparison.
Some excerpts (warning, they may prove too shocking!):
groovy curt: What are you selling?
ebaydealer: An unpublished Robert Lory manuscript on Count Dracula’s lesbian sister.
groovy curt: How much?
groovy curt: Oh God! I need a tissue. brb.
ReddHedd: I had this dream I was running my fingers through Patrick Fitzgerald’s hair!
emptywheel: Me too. And then I dreamed…
finalgirl: What are you wearing?
JasonVorhees: A hockey mask.
finalgirl: That’s all?
JasonVorhees: That’s all.
finalgirl: That’s soooo hott.
unclaimedterritory: What are u rebelling for?
hotvixen: Truth, justice and liberty, baby.
unclaimedterritory: That is sooooo hott. Can you recite the Bill of Rights for me again?
birdwatcher69: We saw three bald eagles circling over Harpers Ferry on Saturday.
vanityjames: Describe what their plumage looked like…tell me everything, IF YOU KNOW what I mean… ;^)
wonkychick: So we’ve got several small business associations to endorse our policy paper to bring universal healthcare tothe country because they want to lower their business costs yet still see their workers taken care of so they’re not losing employees to illness and injury for long periods of time. Under the formula for funding I emailed you earlier, the overall cost to GNP is lower than the current outlay.
eschaton: That was incredible. Was it good for you?
hauntedvampire: What are you watching?
vampirelover69: The only complete copy of London After Midnight in existence.
hauntedvampire: How did u obtain that?!?
vampirelover69: I’m a vampiress who dated Lon Chaney in the 1920s. My hot lesbian girlfriend loves watching it with me. Do you want to hear about our wild sex? I love chatting about it. I’m an exhibitionist.
hauntedvampire: No, no! Go back to the movie! Can u send me a copy?!?
vampirelover69: For u, anything!
hauntedvampire: Oh God. I need a tissue! brb!
Posted in Humor
, In the news
, Kindred spirits
, Original Fiction
, Pop Culture
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