Archive for January, 2008

Busy days

Sorry for the lack of updates. Running a phony draft campaign for president to embarrass billionaire’s Mike Bloomberg’s phony draft campaign is time consuming. Anything going on in the world that I missed? My favorite comment so far:

Go Carnacki! We hate you, but you’re better than Mike!

Makes me feel like a real presidential candidate.

Draft Carnacki drive now has a cooler logo than Bloomberg’s

Sign the petition to Draft Carnacki for President instead of Bloomberg. Details here.

The Draft Bloomberg people have responded to my effort:

What, exactly, are you looking for in a candidate? Do you know anything about Bloomberg, his positions, or his qualifications?

True, the petition numbers have not exactly taken off. It is competing against the media coverage of two major party primaries taking place. I’m inclined to think that most voters are waiting to see who the nominees are first, before looking at alternatives. I suspect Bloomberg is doing the same, and if he chooses to run, won’t decide until that time anyway.

None the less. I would like to see him run, and I know a lot of other people that think he would be good for the country as well.

I know enough about Mike Bloomberg to know that he’d be a horrible president. He’s supported Bush on the Iraq war, the lack of support for Katrina, jokes about the administration’s failure to bring justice to Osama bin Laden, and has embraced torturers. Anyone falling for Bloomberg’s phony “independence” ignores that for years he has embraced the worst Republican politics. His “independence” now is just a way to avoid a primary race and to fool voters who really are sick of the policies that Bloomberg supported and embraced under Bush. As the Village Voice wrote:

It’s only when he thinks no one in the press is listening—like at a Manhattan GOP event this March—that he says the GOP is the party of “honesty, efficiency, compassion, and inclusiveness,” turning political reality, at least as much of his city sees it, on its head. His mountain of GOP donations is as much a pittance to him as his calculated and inconsequential disagreements with them are a sham to us.

We have thousands fewer cops because of Bush’s 90 percent slashing of Clinton’s COPS programs. We had to reprogram FDNY radios because Bush blanched at the $120 million cost of replacing them, even after 9-11’s communication breakdown. Not only has Bloomberg never complained about these security breaches, he’s publicly excused the president for ignoring all the “blinking red” signs of attack that George Tenet described, and refused to criticize him when he defied and undercut the 9-11 Commission, forcing subpoenas and deleting its funding.

He even rushed to Bush’s defense when the Environmental Protection Agency’s inspector general blasted the White House for doctoring press releases after 9-11 to portray “hazardous” air quality findings as safe, a distortion that’s led to lung damage for thousands of firefighters and others at ground zero. “I know the president,” Bloomberg said when confronted with the shocking findings. “I think he’s a very honest guy. It would never occur to me not to trust him.”

Bloomberg put his support for Bush ahead of the lives of New Yorkers. Why the hell would anyone want Bloomberg as president? Hey, I don’t want me as president either, but I’m damned sure I don’t want Bloomberg near any national levers of power.

In the company of the dead

I took Lucy for our usual Saturday walk at the local cemetery in my small village.

We don’t have a park so the cemetery fills that void in many ways, much like cemeteries like Highgate in London did in the Victorian era.

Even if we had a park, I’d probably through inclinations walk her at the cemetery.

It’s lichen covered tombstones and towering oak and cypress trees surrounded by bucolic fields make it rather pleasant place to walk on the gravel paths.

I once read that people should make major decisions in their life at a cemetery because it helps to focus on what is important. I do not know if that is true or not. I tend to do a lot of my thinking on my walks though.

It’s an old cemetery with grave markers going back more than 150 years and it’s still being used. My wife’s brother is buried here as are her grandparents from both sides of her family. My neighbor from across the road, a teenage girl killed by a burglar, is buried there. It is impossible to walk by her grave and not remember the beautiful young girl waiting for the school bus at the end of the driveway. There’s several graves of young children covered with stuffed animals and Barbie dolls, and decorated with occasional party balloons. It is not a lonely cemetery by any reckoning.

I was making my way around when I came upon Scott, a next door neighbor. Scott is in his 30s. Scott attended a special education program until the funds were cut then he got a job bagging groceries and pushing shopping carts at one supermarket until it closed then he got a job at another supermarket. Scott walks a lot around the village, which considering our lack of sidewalks and the speeding traffic isn’t the safest thing to do. Scott has a compulsion that requires him to walk a lot. He walks back and forth at times in his yard until the grass is worn bare and then his grandmother talks him into walking in another part of the yard.

“Hi Scott,” I said as I approached. Lucy ran up to him and leaned into Scott. Scott is one of her favorite people.

“Hello, {Carnacki},” he said. “Did you know John Wayne is dead? He made some good movies.”

We’ve been neighbors for nearly a dozen years now and at least once a week, sometimes more, sometimes less depending upon my schedule, I’ll have the exact same conversation with Scott as I always. He has the same conversation with my wife.

“That’s right,” I said. “Lung cancer, I think.”

I always mean to look up details about John Wayne’s death to add to the conversation. I never remember to do that.

Scott then lists his favorite John Wayne movies and I list mine. His are El Dorado, the Shootist, True Grit, Rooster Cogburn and the War Wagon with Kirk Douglas. Mine are Stage Coach and The Quiet Man.
I asked him to walk with us. He finished John Wayne and moved on to Elvis’ death as he always does and how visitors to Graceland cannot see the bathroom where Elvis died on the tour. Then he moves on to Elvis’ movies.

If conversations go on long enough, he always follows Elvis with Hank Williams’ death followed by bus drivers of his who have died.

I’m not sure why the conversations are always the same with him. After first meeting him, I tried to talk about other things, but it seemed to make him uncomfortable. So for a while, years ago, I stopped talking to him, instead just giving him a friendly wave whenever we crossed paths. But soon we began talking again and now I find there’s something strangely comforting in always having the same conversation with someone. You never have to think of something to talk about and you know what the other person is going to say and what you’ll say in response. It’s companionable if predictable.

Sometimes the dead have nothing new to add to our conversations even though they’re in company with us.

Draft Carnacki for President!

I just read at Eschaton that billionaire Mike Bloomberg’s phony draft campaign has only collected just over 3,000 2,143 signatures.

I thought, “What would be the best way to embarrass him?”

And then it struck me: collect more online signatures than him.

Here’s my pitch:

At this point billionaire Mike Bloomberg, despite a massive marketing campaign and phony draft movement for president, has just 3,000 some signatures. I want to show a middleclassed horror blogger with a slighty insane reputation can draw even more signatures.

Here’s where you sign the petition to embarrass Bloomberg.

Here’s my qualifications to serve as president:

Yet even with those credentials, I’d still make a better president than Bloomberg. I’ve never embraced torturers and I’ve never cheered George W. Bush.

But let’s face it: if someone with no money and a horrific reputation can collect more signatures despite Bloomberg’s drawn out, phony Unity 08 effort, that would have to be terribly embarrassing to him and his handlers.

That’s a good enough reason to sign the petition as any.

Friday vampire dance party

Natalie Merchant: My skin.

Posted in Music | No Comments »

Cthulhu for president

I’ve seen so many campaign posts come and go on other blogs. I’ve seen popular bloggers who had been on the fence make their endorsements.

It is time for me to make mine.

I support Cthulhu for President. I’m not alone in the dark with this. We’re a growing movement.

No, we’re not a cult although Cthulhu does have his cult.

We’re people who don’t want to just change Washington, but to see it eaten by a hideous beast.

Now where does Cthulhu stand (easy answer: any where he wants) on the issues? It is safe to say he would be pro-choice considering he would throw pregnant women and others into his maw.

But many of his followers, of course, would want to promote abstainance only programs to assure a steady supply of virgins to sacrifice. However, the truth is Cthulhu neither cares nor wants their worship and sacrifices so he would be rather indifferent as to their wants.

It is also safe to say Cthulhu as our candidate would be highly controversial. The movie “Cloverfield” is clearly a thinly veiled negative attack film of what a Cthulhu campaign stop in New York City would be like.

While I do not dispute that Cthulhu would not be a great campaigner, what with the destruction and shaking the hands of potential voters before throwing them into his maw and kissing babies by also throwing them into his maw, it is also true that New York City survived the administration of Mayor Rudy Guiliani so the campaign stop might not be as bad in comparison.

To get ahead of one expected argument against a Cthulhu campaign, should we have a candidate whose name is unpronounceable by most people? Two words: Paul Tsongas. Didn’t stop him from running.

It’s also true that the campaign slogan of Cthulhu of “No More Years” is not the most hopeful or optimistic. But if there is one thing I’ve learned after two elections with George W. Bush as candidate is that voters will swallow anything if marketed correctly, including swallow a candidate that wants to swallow them.

With all these negatives, you might ask why I would want Cthulhu as our nominee.

Simple. Just to see the debate with the Republican candidate. I’d love to see the expression of sanity-blowing horror on his opponent’s face before disappearing down his maw.

As a candidate, Jimmy Carter once asked, “Why not the best?” After seven years of Bush, it’s too late to say, “Why not the worst?”

Nevertheless, why choose the lesser of two evils? That’s why I’m endorsing Cthulhu for president in 2008.


The nefarious Lolcats spreads. The world is doomed! Doomed, I say!

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Scientists baffled by reptile deaths

Investigators should look into the possibility of Deep Ones involvement. From AP:

LUCKNOW, India (AP) — Conservationists and scientists scrambled Tuesday to determine what has killed at least 50 critically endangered crocodile-like reptiles in recent weeks in a river sanctuary in central India.

Conservationists believe there are only about 1,500 gharials left in the wild.

Everything from parasites to pollution has been blamed for the deaths of the gharials — massive reptiles that look like their crocodile relatives, but with long slender snouts.

The bodies, measuring between five and 10 feet long, have been found washed up on the banks of the Chambal River since early December, according to conservationists and officials.

Heath Ledger, R.I.P.

I always liked him.

The New York Times has a good story on his life and unfortunate death.

Posted in Obits | No Comments »

I saw Cloverfield last night

My movie bud and his daughter saw Cloverfield last night. We loved it. Here’s an interesting post for those who have seen the movie, but don’t go if you haven’t yet.

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