Archive for the 'Personal' Category

Thoughts on kisses

Non-horror related (or maybe it is horror-related to you and lovers undead or monstrous), but what are your favorite types of kisses? Long and slow, nibbles, passionate with lots of tongue?

Also, how do you stand on biting?

‘My name is Inigo Montoya’

I’ve never heard this story before from Mandy Patinkin and it made me love him even more because I know how he feels.


Under my New Year’s resolution for healthy eating, should I count whisky as a grain?


“Listen,” she said. “Smells are very important to me.”

“What do I smell like?” I asked, standing in the kitchen, my fingers interlocked on top of my head.

She stepped closer to me and put her tattooed-arms around me and pressed her face against my T-shirt and inhaled deeply.

“You smell like the playground across the street from me when I was still young and innocent.” She inhaled again. “And like warm hugs. And lazy Sundays in.”

I’m bleeding

Daughter: Daddy I’m bleeding.
Me: I’m sorry sweetie. Are you bleeding as much as Ric Flair in his match with Triple H at the 2005 Great American Bash?
Daughter: No. Just a little on my toe.

And she knew exactly what I meant. #Proudfather

Mad scientist captures Carnacki

Recently I began dating a mad scientist who conducts bizarre experiments on human brains for the military and she is equipped with chains, torture devices and dangerously sharp weapons. This sounds like fiction, but it’s strangely true.

Lucy, RIP

Our beloved dog Lucy has passed away. If there is a heaven, she is running through the fields of the Lord.

Sunday vampire dance party

I took the girls to Luray Caverns for the weekend. We toured the caverns then went downtown Luray, Virginia for dinner and saw a sign for a free concert in their park. Ben Prestage was the second act and we caught his performance. He plays a mean guitar while beating the drums with the footpedal and blowing into the harmonica. He’s a very talented blues performer. My 8-year-old wanted to get his CD and Prestage’s wife was selling them. We got a double live disc from a show in his home state of Florida. He’s performed at Burning Man. If he comes to your neck of the woods, check him out and support great live music.

To Lucy

Cheers to my old girl Lucy. I thought we were going to lose her last week, but she’s feeling better. She’s the best dog in the world and I know the day is coming soon where she will run in the fields of the Lord and wait by the gates of heaven for my arrival (I hope I don’t disappoint her), but that day is not yet.

Live blogging my drunken Monopoly game

My best friend and his wife came over for New Year’s Eve. We’re playing Monopoly. I’ve forgotten how many beers and shots of Crown Royal Special Reserve I’ve had – I can’t believe I’m typing this well – and is that a nonsequitor, where was I? – wer’e playing Monopoly. Oh my God I haven’t been this drink in a long time. My lips are numb. I’ve rolled five six times and ain’t had a single chance to buy a single property. Either landing on community chest or chance or someone else’s propertyl I’m buzzed and doomed. This h as been a great night. My best friend’s wife and my 7 year old are one team. My wife is to my left. My best friend is across the table. I’m the race car as I’ve almost always been since I was a kid. My best friend just collected $50 from every player for the 2nd time already. I think someone put the last community chest card on top again instead of on bottom. Unfair!!!. Three exclamation points. I’m so drunk. My kids are having fun. This is a wonderful night.

UPdate: I just bought Boardwalk. Shit property but I finally had a chance to buy something.

Update 2: My 5 year old owns more prpties than I do. I just added personal tag. My dog is at my feet. Life doesn’t get better than this.

“Dad you look like this,” my 7 year old just said.

Update again: My 10 year old sold me vermont out of sympathy. I’m glad she’s choosing my retirement home.

My first father in law who was a raging alcoholic at one time in his life said he always hated new year’s eve because the amateur drunks came out. I’m glad I’m at home.

2nd time I’ve landed on income tax. I just own two properties. I’m putting the computer down before it falls off my lap. more later.

Update: Just traded Boardwalk to my best friend for Vermont, St. James, Penn, RR, $550 cash plus landing on Park Place and Boardwalk for free for two turns. Others are mad at me for the trade, but I was not only short on cash since I paid $150 school tax and was in jail twice on top of the two incoomme taxes previously. My wife just spilled her drink which gives me time to update. No one lands on PP and BW anyway….oops my 10 year old just did.

“OK, your daugther is payihg for your sin,” my wife just said.

Others are griping for my deaql.

This is our best New Year’s in years.

Rita (my best friend’s wife) to my 7 year old whispering in her ear: “No we can’t hire a hitman.”

Update another: shit where’d he get all that money for houses?!?

Update again. I just traded Oriental and Vermont to my wife for $10 and (whisper whisper) to be paid later. I’m screwed in the game, but, well…

Update yet again: the Nerf guns have come out as people landing on Park Place upset with exorberant. rents.
Update another: all kinds of trading going on. I have lots of cash but now no properties. However my 10 year old is happy.


Just sold St. James to my 10 year old for $200. Made her happy…

I shouldn’t drink and play monopoly.

Update: ack she just landed on PP with 3 houses.

Update: Now his wife just shot him

He’s declared the winner.

Now we’ve switched to wii…he’s getting schooled at bowling by my 7 year old.

UPdate last: added links I meant to add earlier. Going to bed. Happy New Year.

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