Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Talk Like a Pirate Day

So, um… talk like one. Or not. But for today, at least, the site’s been piratized…

edit @ 23:27 PDT – okay, close enough to midnight… putting this toy away until next year :-)

Think that politicians are blood suckers?

You might get some political canvassers, armed with spikey teeth and voter registration cards knocking at your door this October 31.  Trick or Vote.

“Cthulhus need love too…

Tentacles are serious business.” so sayeth the LatteTimes when alerting us to some visual wordplay fun at LOLTHULHU and “Lovecraftian” auditory pleasures….

GPod Audio Books – Call of the Cthulhu

Enjoy!

World of Warcraft introduces bard class

With the popularity of Guitar Hero games, this class will totally rock!

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Expelled!

Oh this is too funny.

My night at the Emperor’s Club

I was in New York City on a business trip when I went into the now notorious Emperor’s Club. This diary is about my experience there.

I was in need of a drink after a hard day in the city. I saw a discrete sign saying the Emperor’s Club. A fancy name for a bar, but none the less I didn’t know the neighborhood and didn’t want to wander around looking for one.

I entered and was surprised to not see a bar, just a few leather chairs like an old fashioned British club. Nice, I thought.

“May I help you?” an elegant woman asked, looking me up and down as if I had stumbled into the wrong place. I get that a lot.

“I just want a quick one,” I said, looking forward to a shot of Crown Royal Special Reserve. Long time readers might recall my love for the Special Reserve.”

“We don’t normally accomodate walk-ins,” she said.

That’s weird for a bar, I thought. But I didn’t want to say anything and show I was a bumpkin not used to the city ways.

“I have the money,” interpretting her earlier look as concern for my ability to pay. As I said, I’m used to that look.

“Very well,” she said. “I’ll send someone over.”

So it’s one of those fancy bars with waitresses, I thought. Nice.

I waited and an elegant, lovely woman came over. “What would you like?” she asked.

I felt tongue-tied by her beauty. “Special,” I said before stammering.

“That’ll be $5,000,” she purred.

Holy s**t! I thought. I knew a drink in New York would cost more than back home, but that was outrageous price gouging. I got up to leave and was already composing my email to Elliott Spitzer, who I knew was strong on consumer protection, when I saw him enter. I smiled at him as I passed him on my way out the door.

He was already on the case.

Posted in Humor | 1 Comment »

Myth 0s

‘Outing’ myself

Blog mates at skippy have posted pictures of themselves. So I’m coming out of the shadows too. Here’s Ms. Carnacki and me.

House of 1000 Muppets

Breaking: RNC names new chairman

Sorry for another copy and paste post from me. I want to be first with this breaking news.

The Times (link not available yet)

WASHINGTON – The Republican National Committee named Lord Voldemort as chairman Friday evening to replace Sen. Mel Martinez.

“I am deeply honored to be able to lead my followers,” said Voldemort. “With Democrats acting as effective as the Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, I feel it is safe for me to operate in the open.”

Republican insiders hailed the announcement as a positive step to help turn around the fortunes of the GOP.

“He is the perfect choice to lead the Republican Party in these times,” said Republican consultant and former presidential advisor Karl Rove. “He embodies the Republican Party’s views on war, power, torture and the health of children.”

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) said he would work in a bipartisan fashion with the new GOP chairman.

“Together we can stop any Democratic efforts to safeguard liberties,” Reid said.

Voldemort said he was going to do his best to make sure Republicans remain in control in 2008 – no matter if Democrats or Republicans control Congress or the White House.

“So in that sense I believe in bipartisan solutions,” he hissed.

International human rights groups and the American Civil Liberties Union said Voldemort’s record in Britain was one of the darkest in history.

“This is a new land,” Voldemort said in response to his critics. “It is amusing that in my native country I was called He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named while here Republican presidential candidates treat President Bush as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

So far my record on breaking scoops is impeccable. See here and here.

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